And So It Begins …
Repost from September 30th, 2016.
The days of waiting are finally over. Today, I’m setting off on a new chapter of my life.
As I type these words, I’m sitting on a plane from Abu Dhabi to Düsseldorf. It’s 9:55 AM in Vietnam, 4:55 AM in Germany. The time difference is just five hours, but the distance feels so much greater—like an entire world apart. I’m not sure what to feel. The two Germans sitting next to me are fast asleep, their necks awkwardly tilted to one side. They probably won’t be waking up anytime soon. It makes sense—it’s still the middle of the night for them.
The Flight Plan
The goodbye at the airport was brief and to the point, but it carried so much weight. Only the people closest to me—my family and four dear friends—came to see me off. When the tears started to well up, I hurried into the waiting area before they could spill over. I managed a few hugs, a few handshakes, and a quick glance back at my mom’s tear-filled eyes. I couldn’t bear to let anyone see my own tears fall.
As I went through security, I was a bundle of nerves, worrying they might check my overweight luggage (15kg over the limit!) or the extra cash I was carrying. But maybe I looked so overwhelmed that they just waved me through without a second glance.
Sitting in the waiting area afterward, I had a moment to reflect—and the guilt started creeping in. Why didn’t I hug this person a little longer? Why didn’t I say more, tell them how much I care? Who knows what things will be like in a few years? I started blaming myself for being such a burden to my family. What have I truly done for my parents and siblings after all these years?
But deep down, I know this reckless, selfish streak in me has always been there. No matter how much I try, I’ve never been good at living for others. Still, I hope my family knows how much I love them. I hope they feel it, even if I don’t say it enough.
On the Plane
I felt like such a newbie. It’s my first long-haul flight, and it’s with a premium airline, so everything feels fancy and unfamiliar. If I’d been seated farther back, I could’ve observed others and copied what they did. But no—I was in the FIRST ROW (thanks to my sweet travel agent who helped me check in online). And the first row was practically deserted, except for a lady with her 10-month-old baby. No one to watch, no one to follow.
Sure, the legroom was amazing, but everything else was different from the rows behind. The screen, for example, was this little tablet folded into the side of the seat. I spent a solid 15 minutes cursing under my breath because I couldn’t find it. And the headphones? They plugged into this tiny, hidden port on the armrest. I spent ages fumbling around before finally asking the flight attendant. He smirked and said, “First time flying Etihad?”
“Yes, it’s my first time”, but I thought to myself, “if you’d put me in the back, I wouldn’t have looked so clueless! Everything’s right there in plain sight back there!”.
The 15-hour flight was exhausting. As amazing as Etihad’s service was, it didn’t change the fact that long-haul flights are just plain tiring.
Almost There
In just 50 minutes, I’ll be setting foot on German soil—on European soil. It still feels surreal. This is the place I’ve dreamed of my entire life. The place I’ve left so much behind for, to start something completely new. No friends, no family, no familiar faces waiting for me on the other side.
I can’t even picture what my life will look like in a month, six months, or a year from now. But I’ve decided to give it everything I’ve got—work hard, smile often, stay determined. No matter how things turn out, it’ll be okay. My family is always there for me, and that thought gives me strength.
A Tangle of Emotions
To be honest, I want to write so much more. There’s so much swirling around in my head right now—memories, excitement, fear—but the words just won’t come together. So, I’ll leave it here for now.
This is only the beginning of the journey.
Written on September 25th, 2016. Preparing to land at Düsseldorf Airport.